I Believe In A Thing Called Love Rant Review // An Insane, Scheming, Manipulative Stalker

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Title // I Believe In A Thing Called Love

Author // Maurene Goo

Publisher // Farrar, Straus, and Grioux 

Publication Date // May 30, 2019

Synopsis // Desi Lee believes anything is possible if you have a plan. That’s how she became student body president. Varsity soccer star. And it’s how she’ll get into Stanford. But—she’s never had a boyfriend. In fact, she’s a disaster in romance, a clumsy, stammering humiliation magnet whose botched attempts at flirting have become legendary with her friends. So when the hottest human specimen to have ever lived walks into her life one day, Desi decides to tackle her flirting failures with the same zest she’s applied to everything else in her life. She finds guidance in the Korean dramas her father has been obsessively watching for years—where the hapless heroine always seems to end up in the arms of her true love by episode ten. It’s a simple formula, and Desi is a quick study. Armed with her “K Drama Steps to True Love,” Desi goes after the moody, elusive artist Luca Drakos—and boat rescues, love triangles, and staged car crashes ensue. But when the fun and games turn to true feels, Desi finds out that real love is about way more than just drama.

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My Rating: ★☆ (1.5)

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So lately I’ve been really into this song, Sweet But Psycho by Ava Max. After reading this book, I’ve realized that that song perfectly describes Desi; she’s sweet, but she’s absolutely insane and any guy should be running from her as fast as possible. I hated Maurene Goo’s other book, The Way You Make Me Feel, but I hoped it was just a fluke. Alas, thanks to Desi’s craziness, I think I’m going to have to give a hard pass to all of Goo’s books.

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When I read the synopsis and realized that Desi would be trying dating like a K-drama, I thought it would be a bit cheesy and silly, but still a fun to read lighthearted quick contemporary. Maybe she would follow heriones to get out of her comfort zone and chase the guy or something. (I confess, I’ve never seen a kdrama). But no, this girl is legitimately insane, and also a crazy stalker too. There’s cute and quirky, and there’s full on crazy. This girl doesn’t need a boyfriend; she needs a psychiatrist. Some of the insane things she does to get her love interest, Luca:

Pretend she secretly wanted to be an artist and join art club and worm her way into Luca’s group of artist friends so she can see him and pretend she has a mysterious secret ambition. It’s not the worst, but it’s pretty manipulative.

Put nails on the road to get Luca into a car crash. Yes, she purposefully causes a car crash so she can look like a damsel in distress. First of all, you’re going to kill him, and second of all, since he’s thankfully not dead, do you think fixing a car is free? I’m pretty sure, in addition to being insane, this is illegal property damage?

–Facebook stalks Luca’s ex girlfriend with a fake account and follows her so she can see exactly what she’s doing at all times of the day. She honestly sets facebook alert/notifications so that she can see exactly where she is as she drives.

Hides in a closet so she can eavesdrop on a private conversation between Luca and his ex girlfriend. The conversation is private for a reason, and you liking him does not give you permission to eavesdrop!

Purposefully falls into a pool and flounders around so Luca will jump in and save her… even though she can swim and he can’t! What kind of manipulative bs is this? He almost drowns so she can play damsel in distress!

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Anyways, as if Desi wasn’t insane enough, there’s plenty of mind grating girl hate:

Desi stalking and hating the ex girlfriend just because she’s his ex. Although she might not be the best person, I really didn’t need to hear Desi sourly comment on how she probably has artfully displayed lingerie in her room.

An entire rivalry between Desi and another girl, Violet, just because they both like Luca. They seriously hate each other for a good part of the book because they’re both crushing on the same guy!

So with all these unpleasant things about Desi, that romance had better be pretty amazing in other to compensate right? Well, I honestly have zero clue why Luca likes Desi at all, especially considering her manipulative bs. But apparently he does because yay instalove! This is about how their relationship progresses:
1. Desi sees Luca! Omg! He’s so hot!!!
2. Luca draws a picture of Desi!! Omg!!! So this is love!!
3. Because Luca is hot and drew a picture of Desi, she decides he’s going to be her boyfriend and crafts the kdrama list of steps.
4. Desi manipulates and pushes her way into his life.
5. I LOVE YOU

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Anyways. I suppose this book wasn’t the absolute worst thing in the world: I really enjoyed the Korean representation, and there were some cute fun parts. Overall though… if I ever meet someone like Desi, I’m running the other direction as fast as possible, and for now, I’m advising you to run from this book as fast as possible.

 

 

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9 thoughts on “I Believe In A Thing Called Love Rant Review // An Insane, Scheming, Manipulative Stalker

  1. WOW, reading this review was wild. I remember when this book was first going to be released years ago, and people were talking about it. The premise sounded so interesting, but I did remember people saying that the lengths Desi goes through are kinda insane. I can’t believe they never mentioned the actual lengths she went through in order to get a boyfriend! If I ever met someone like Desi, I would run away to the other end of the earth. Also, it sucks that this book featured girl hate. I absolutely hate that in books, because it’s so unnecessary. I probably won’t ever read this book, but this review was excellent!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Holy moly. You definitely turned me off of this book. I love the cover and I too thought the synopsis meant some cute stuff would go on but the amount of times she puts him in danger is makes me so uncomfortable. Thanks for your review!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hahahaha, I live for your rant reviews, Kay!! ❤ This book honestly sounds so bad that I feel like it would be enjoyable. lol. The MC sounds like a class A psychopath and that it some extreme stalking habits she undertakes! I remember reading Maurene Goo's Somewhere Only We Know, and it had some slightly uncomfortable stalker-like behavior in it, as well. This one sounds a billion times worse though! I'll definitely have to take a pass on it!

    Like

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